Sunday, February 24, 2008

Quotes for Oscar Night

From past award recipients:

"Welcome to the Academy Awards. Or as it's known in my house - Passover." –Bob Hope, perennial Oscar host, honorary winner, but never acting award winner

“I haven't had an orthodox career and I wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it and I can't deny the fact that you like me -- right now, you like me!”– Sally Field, upon winning her second Best Actress Oscar, for Places in the Heart

''If New York is the Big Apple, tonight Hollywood to me is the big nipple”—Bernardo Bertolucci, in accepting his Best Director statuette for The Last Emperor

“If I'd known this was all it would take, I'd have put that eyepatch on 40 years ago.” – John Wayne, upon winning his award for his role as “one-eyed fat man” Rooster Cogburn in True Grit

“I accept this very gratefully for keeping my mouth shut for once, in Johnny Belinda. I think I'll do it again.”—Jane Wyman, in accepting Best Actress for her role as a deaf mute in Johnny Belinda

“I'd like to thank everybody who ever punched or kissed me in my life, and everybody who I ever punched or kissed.”—John Patrick Shanley, upon winning Best Original Screenplay for Moonstruck

“This is the highlight of my day. I hope it's not all downhill from here.”—Kevin Spacey, after winning Best Actor for American Beauty

"This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom." –Melissa Etheridge, clutching her Oscar statuette for Best Original Song for “I Need to Wake Up” from An Inconvenient Truth

"I'm in shock. And I'm so in love with my brother right now, he just held me and said he loved me."—Angelina Jolie, in accepting Best Supporting Actress for Girl, Interrupted

“I bet they didn't tell you that was in the giftbag.”—Adrien Brody, after kissing a startled Halle Berry on his way to accepting his Best Actor Award for The Pianist

“This is too - I mean, my hormones are just too way out of control to be dealing with this.”—A very pregnant Catherine Zeta-Jones, accepting Best Supporting Actress for Chicago

"Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, 'Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.' " --Robin Williams, after winning Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting

"I guess this proves there are as many nuts in the Academy as anywhere else."—Jack Nicholson, in accepting his first Oscar, for Best Actor, for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

“I want to thank the members of the Academy who were bold enough to give me this award for this song which, obviously, is a song that doesn't pussyfoot around or turn a blind eye to human nature. God bless you all with peace, tranquility and good will.”—Bob Dylan, after winning “Best Original Song” for his “Things Have Changed” in Wonder Boys

“I feel like diving into this ocean of generosity … I would like to be Jupiter and kidnap everybody and lie down in the firmament making love to everybody.”—Roberto Benigni, after jumping over chairs, rushing to the stage, and kissing Sophia Loren on his way to picking up his Best Actor statuette for Life is Beautiful
(Yeah, baby!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Never new John Wayne was so funny!